Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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