guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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