i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
