soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
