; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
