Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Randomize
