are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
