I think I am morally bankrupt
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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