You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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