They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
