I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I bet he comes in French.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
NoShamevember. You game?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
