what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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