Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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