Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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