he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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