And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have feelings that need drinking.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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