This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
