HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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