Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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