What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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