If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
