I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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