for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
