True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
