How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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