Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
