Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She bit a glass in half.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
