Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
