More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
