I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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