I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
