He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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