Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
