Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
