Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think your dad took our porno
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Success! We fucked roommates!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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