I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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