Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
