I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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