I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
