she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
