btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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