we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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