His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
