Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
