he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
