You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
