Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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