I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize