dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
