wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
